Unexpected Weekend Events

Well it’s Sunday evening here in Kathmandu and we are just catching our breaths after what turned out to be an unexpectedly eventful weekend. As is often the case in Nepal, things have the ability to surprise you in the most unexpected ways, sometimes good and sometimes not so good.

On Friday evening we went to Bhaktapur to spend the evening with our friend, Rabindra. He has a beautifully restored Newari house in Bhaktapur and we always look forward to the chance of spending an evening there relaxing away from the hustle and bustle of Thamel. This time was no different and we enjoyed a wonderful dinner with Rabindra followed by a fantastic quiet night’s sleep and a lovely breakfast the following morning.

We then met some other friends in Bhaktapur’s main square later on Saturday morning. These friends are 2 students who we have been sponsoring since the Mitrataa Foundation started 7½ years ago. As you can imagine, they have grown so much in that time and it was wonderful to see them now developing into young adults.

On Saturday afternoon we returned to Kathmandu and were greeted with quite a shock. There is a woman who works on the streets of Thamel running a small cigarette cart and selling stitched bags to tourists. We have known her for many years and have suported her and her family in various ways. This time she seemed quite agitated about something and although her English is quite good she could not immediately communicate her problem to us. After a lot of gesticulating and questions we finally worked out that she was telling us her 16 year old daughter was being sexually abused by the caretaker of the hostel where she was living. Absolute shock and horror does not begin to describe how we felt once we were sure this was what we were being told. Although we were aware this was a common problem in Kathmandu we had never encountered it personally.

It turns out that this has been going on for many years but the girl was too afraid to tell her mother and did not want to worry her. However, the problem has become worse recently and she has become too afraid to go back to the hostel when school resumes next week. The problem was made worse by the fact that her education is being paid for by a foreigner who stipulated that she would only support the girl if she attended this school and lived in this hostel. Naturally the girl and her mother were concerned that if they told anyone of the problem this educational support would be lost. Mess does not begin to describe things!

We have had no experience of how best to handle this type of issue in Nepal so we spent the rest of Saturday evening and Sunday morning on the phone with various friends and contacts trying to work out what could be done. Fortunately, thanks to one of our partner organisations that works with, among other things, abused women and children, CWISH, we have been able to help. A counsellor from CWISH has been very helpful in gathering information and details from us today and has explained exactly how these types of things should be dealt with in Nepal. We will take the girl tomorrow to CWISH to meet with the counsellor and help her understand what has happened. We will also be helping the girl to find another school so that she will be able to start there when school resumes next Sunday after the Tihar festival.

Whilst in this instance it appears that everything is going to work out, the whole experience reminded us of some of the disturbing things that can happen here. It became apparent that the hostel caretaker singled out this girl because he knew she came from a poor family and so wouldn’t be able to do anything (supposedly) to stop him. He also prevented her from making phone calls or emailing even though these are standard facilities available to children living in this hostel. He also threatened her that if she told anyone she would lose her sponsorship to go to school and she would “end up on the streets like her mother”.

Without wanting to draw out the unpleasantness of the whole thing further I will just add that this situation really reminds us of how important education is for people in developing countries. With education people learn about their basic rights, where they can turn for help if they need it, and also hopefully people learn that such behaviour is never acceptable. I know this girl is one of the lucky ones, and the ordeal is by no means over for her yet, but tonight she is safe. We will be working with her from now on and closely monitoring her progress. We are very grateful to CWISH for their support and for the wonderful work they do in this area to protect women and girls.

Lastly, if anyone would like to contribute to supporting this girl we are urgently looking for sponsorship. We are not sure of the exact cost as yet (it will depend on which school and hostel she attends) but any expressions of interest would be appreciated. You can email me at adam@mitrataa.org.